Many years ago, someone suggested that I find a writers’ group. I
cringed at the idea. The thought of sharing my work with others, let alone
getting an actual critique, unleashed a mild panic. I put the suggestion in the
back of my mind (the way back) and continued writing and submitting and
accumulating rejections. I pursued my degree in writing and shared my work with
teachers and professors because, hey, that’s their job. They’re supposed to
critique my work. I had yet to realize that the best teachers are not the folks
standing at the front of the classroom making money for what they do. The best
teachers are the writers like ourselves, who sit down at their desks everyday, putting
the best they can on a piece of paper or a computer screen. They hope and
dream, deal with defeat and then get up the next day and do it again.
After graduating, I continued my writing ritual of submission and
rejection. It was a lonely process and I considered contacting one of my
professors to see if they’d work with me. Instead, I remembered the suggestion
I’d gotten a few years back and dared peruse the back page of a newsletter from
a local writing organization. There was a list of writing groups and one close
to home that was advertising for a new member. Ignoring my sweaty hands and
pounding heart, I submitted a few chapters of the novel I was working on for
their review and waited to see if I would be “the fit” they were looking for.
An email a couple of days later asked me to come the following week and bring
some work to share. Joining that group was the best thing I ever did to further
myself as a writer.
Is it hard to walk into a room of people and hand over the pages
you’ve been pouring yourself into? Absolutely. It’s right up there with laying
down your heart in the middle of the floor and hoping it doesn’t get stepped on
or standing naked in a busy intersection. It’s as vulnerable as I’ve ever felt.
As writers, most of us are introverts. For me, it’s a lot easier to
put my voice on the page than to speak up in a room full of people. But no one
becomes better at what they do without feedback, not the athlete or the chef,
or the parent, or the teacher. We need each other and writers are no exception.
Even though I savor the solitude of writing, I have also learned to savor the
advice, suggestions and critiques of people I trust and those who know more
than I do. (Which as it turns out, are quite a few.)
The friendship and intimacy that I’ve found within my writers group
has been invaluable in my growth as a writer. Things are pointed out within my
work that I would never have seen myself. Do I feel defensive when I’m being
critiqued? Sure, but I get over it pretty fast because once I allow myself to
really listen, I often realize they’re right. It’s a little like having someone
tell you that you should cut your hair a different way or not wear a certain
color. At first you’re defensive, but later, when you look in the mirror, you
realize they’re right. Critiques aren’t cruel they’re immensely helpful. The
tough part is getting over our own defenses so that we can hear them. That’s
where an intimate, trusted writing group comes in. The writers in my group
support me in taking my craft seriously, but their humor and friendship insure
that I don’t take myself seriously. And that little lesson makes all the
difference.
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