Tell us a bit about your latest book "LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP-A PREMARITAL GUIDE"

Originally published as a highly recommended professional text for premarital counselors, the research based quizzes, exercises and case examples have been assembled in this easy to use book for couples planning to marry to help them learn more about themselves and each other to determine if they are ready for marriage and to choose a mate who shares their values and goals and has the qualities to make an appropriate partner. The book also teaches communication and conflict resolution skills

What made you write this book?

I saw the need for a book based on my professional experience with couples in conflict who consult me to help them repair what isn’t working for them. Too often I conclude that a couple would probably have been better off had they not married each other or married at all. If they had addressed their conflicts before marriage it may have prevented their problems.

Too many couples are at the brink of divorce, and after we assess their situation, it is clear that the relationship cannot be salvaged as they are not right for each other. Sometimes I puzzle over why they made the choice to be together from the beginning. Were they so dazzled by each other that they couldn’t think straight? Were they desperate for a partner? Was parental influence at play? Was a need for status or money an inducement?

You have over forty years expereince as a Clinical Psychologist. Why could your book be an important tool for people planning on getting married?

To prevent precipitous or unhappy marriages, my aim is to help couples make one of the most important decisions they may ever make—a life-long commitment to another human being. Wise couples will take the time and effort to learn more about themselves and each other and how to communicate better and resolve conflicts. One or both partners may have suffered from difficult previous marriages or one or both are the offspring of divorced parents. They want to avoid problems, and are willing to do as much as possible to assure that they are right for each other and not destined for another tremendous emotional upheaval involving huge legal expenses, re-location, child custody concerns, negative effects on family life and the pain of a shattered dream. They may be all too aware of what is involved in a stressful relationship

You've also written fiction. How does your writing process differ from when you write non fiction?

Writing fiction has a different goal. It’s designed to entertain, to transport the reader to a different time and place, to create drama and tension with believable characters. I feel the presence of a special muse when I write fiction. It feels more expressive, more creative, more emotional. Like making music or painting.

For me writing non-fiction is more cognitive. My intellect is released. My goal is to educate in an interesting fashion.

How do you organise your writing time?

I must write when it is quiet without interruptions. Therefore it is usually late at night or early in the morning when I don’t expect any phone calls, or consultations, and my husband is sleeping, or occupied with his work. We have different work schedules so that helps.

Where can people find out more about you and your books?

My website www.DrSandraLevyCeren.com lists my books, short stories, and articles. Reviews of my books can be found on the internet.ie, Amazon.

Look Before You Leap: A Premarital Guide for Couples

Sandra L. Ceren
Loving Healing Press (2008)
ISBN 9781932690750
Reviewed by Kam Aures for RebeccasReads (10/08)

“Look Before You Leap: A Premarital Guide for Couples” was “originally published as a highly recommended professional text for premarital counselors.” Now, it is an excellent resource available to couples that are planning on marriage. The book begins by taking a look at just what qualities and factors make for a good marriage. The main points are exemplified by case examples looking at the relationships of various couples. The case studies presented add a lot to the book, as it is always nice to have points expanded upon with interesting scenarios.
After the introduction, there are quizzes to take in order to better examine the couple’s compatibility. The first quiz is a “Personality Quiz” which both partners are to fill out and then to exchange with one another. Some of the questions on this quiz are “If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?” and “How do you usually respond when someone shares feelings with you?” After the quiz questions, the next chapter gives detailed insight into how you or your partner may have answered. Following this is the second quiz, which is a “Relationship Quiz.” This one contains questions such as “At times do you feel suffocated by your partner?” and “What do you quarrel about?”
I think that these quizzes will definitely provide important insights into exactly just what kind of people you and your partner are, and whether or not you will have a fulfilling relationship that will last. There are too many marriages that end in divorce and I think that if all couples were to read this book or participate in pre-marital counseling then statistics would be much improved. The book touches on many important areas that are helpful to know about your partner before you rush in to marriage.
After the quizzes are chapters discussing communication and conflict resolution, and then suggested solutions in which different scenarios are presented and ideas are given on how to handle the situations. The final two sections focus on personality disorders and the different types of people that you may meet (e.g “old souls” and “over-givers”).
If you are not yet married and are considering it, then this definitely is the book for you. You will learn a lot about your future husband or wife to be! Although I am already married, I really enjoyed this book. I always like books that have interactive elements, as I am one who learns best by doing. I think that even couples that have already taken the “leap” would benefit and learn new things about their partner if they were to sit down and go through the quizzes in the book. This action in turn may help to strengthen your existing relationship.